You can’t change people, but……

Do you have someone whether they’re a client, friend or loved one, who is on the wrong path? Perhaps, it’s even destructive to them and the people around them. Have you tried to give them advice, and it backfired?


This is where patience is the key. It has nothing to do with you, it’s their belief system and they aren’t ready for change.

This can be difficult because we really care and want to help. But a fragile ego will always resist and they will not be able to save face. Just remember this, “People don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care.”

So, what can you do?

First, respect their worldview, even if it is wrong. They know who they are and are doing what they do based on the information they have. They are doing the best they can do.

Second, live your life and be a loving example. Keep focused on becoming the best you that you can be and then you will be a solid example to them.

Third, wait for them. Things will change. They will have challenges that come up, and because you respected them and loved them, they will trust you and ask for your input.

It takes time for change, just remember that you aren’t the same person you were in the past, and that being patient with yourself and others leads to successful relationships.

The Orange Tree: Pick the Ripe Fruit

Prospecting is like picking Oranges off a tree. First you start with the ripe ones on the ground, and then the ripe ones on the tree. You don’t pick the fruit that isn’t ripe.


The nice thing about picking ripe fruit is that you can tell they are ripe by looking at them. It’s not that easy when prospecting, but it is the same concept. It’s a numbers game, the 80/20 rule. You have to meet 100 people to find the 20 that are ripe.

Many sales consultants beat themselves up needlessly by trying to convince an unripe prospect into becoming ripe. You can’t change the numbers, they are what they are. Instead of trying to make them ripe, just fertilize, water and love them where they are at, until they become ripe.

If you are dedicated to the numbers of calls, you will find the ripe fruit along the way. Some of the fruit is so ripe, it will be rotting on the ground and will be the easiest prospect who may even say to you “I’ve been waiting for you to come see me, I was just thinking about or needing your service!”

“This is what we need to do next.”

When you get to the awkward moment and there is nothing left to say. Once you’ve shared, cared and listened to your Client’s needs. What do you say? What do you do?

Salesperson asking young female customer to sign on document at car showroom. Horizontal shot.

The little phrase “This is what we need to do next” is when you guide them through the close. Never ask, “What do you think?” or “What do you want to do?”. This is the time that you have earned the right as a consultant to be a leader by telling your Client what to do.

Some may balk at this notion of telling, but it is what your Client is looking for, leadership.

What if the Client throws an objection your way and doesn’t follow? This is good. Now if you’ve consulted correctly and listened for their “Hot Buttons” you start by going back to the Hot Button. For Example, you say “This is what we need to do next” and the Client says “I’m not sure”, you say “about?”. Whatever the Client says next, it’s usually not relevant unless they agree to the next step.

Your job is now to ask them about a Hot Button. For Example, you say “remember how you told me safety was a big issue with you?”. Now it triggers their emotions and reasons for buying. If the Client says “yes” and is in agreement to the safety issue, then you elaborate on the product providing the solution to this issue and simply go back to saying “This is what we need to do next”.

If you have done your discovery work on the front end of consulting, then you will find great success using this phrase and doubling your closing percentage.


As a child I used to make paper boats and watch them go down a stream.  As the boat traveled it encountered obstacles along the way.  This reminds me of my journey through life and the difficulties that lie within.


The journey begins so peacefully with everything in tact, no worries, with no trouble in sight.


But this is what lies ahead…..swift currents, unseen rocks, twists and turns, with no end in sight……

This is where the rubber meets the road with pressures of the unknown.  Your whole body, mind and soul become affected as you traverse the waters and obstacles.

So what do you do?  How do you handle this?  I would suggest to F.L.O.W. with the GO.  This has been my healing process over the last year, and I hope that it encourages and helps you as you FLOW with the River of LIFE.

F….FEELINGS ARE VALID.  As you start encountering difficulties, allow yourself to FEEL.  Your feelings are healings and will allow yourself to stay on course.  Feelings are temporary, they come and go like the wind, but if you bury them and ignore them they won’t go away but just cause a deeper problem within.  Note:this doesn’t mean to use your feelings as a weapon to hurt or injure others.



L….LOVE YOURSELF AND OTHERS.  Whether your journey is smooth or rough, stay in an attitude of LOVE.  When things get tough we start to blame ourselves and others.  Hatred will do nothing but sink your ship by breaking down the infrastructure, causing weakness, depression, anxiety and even cancer.  LOVE is the most powerful thing you can do, so give up and give in to LOVE.



O….OPEN UP TO NEW INFORMATION.  You find yourself in the middle of turmoil with difficulties of the past, present and future on your mind.  You use everything that you know to guide yourself through this process, but it doesn’t seem to be working, your boat is being rocked.  This is when you must be OPEN to new information that can help you with troubled waters.



W….WAITING IS THE HARDEST PART.  You’ve embraced your FEELINGS, you have an attitude of LOVE and have OPENED UP to new information.  But you want it all to work now!  This is where patience kicks in my friend.  The journey is long and arduous, and the healing takes time.  BE PATIENT with yourself and remain under the circumstances you find yourself in, I promise, it will all be OK.



Finally, as you sail on your ship through this journey we call LIFE, remember to FLOW WITH THE GO and I promise you will find PEACE OF MIND, while knowing that you are LOVED by others and THE ONE WHO CREATED YOU and will COMFORT you through this journey.


Thank You, but Thank the Veterans

The outpouring of love and support that I have received is overwhelming.  As humbling as it is and thankful as I am, I really hope and pray that you would consider our Veterans for their Sacrifice.  Last night I watched the movie American Sniper and was deeply moved again by the selfless service our Veterans give.

20141003_AmericanSniper1The portrayal of Chris Kyle by the actor Bradley Cooper, was outstanding and breathtaking.  The decision to Sacrifice Everything for our Freedom is a price that few are willing to pay.

I have received messages from some Veterans saying that I really don’t understand PTSD(post traumatic stress disorder).  They are correct!  I don’t understand nor will ever understand what they have been through.  Even though I served as a United States Marine, I didn’t see combat.  I have been in therapy with Veterans who suffer PTSD and am very respectful while being ashamed that I suffer from PTSD.  Nevertheless, we all suffer, I even received a message from the mother of a 12 year old boy who suffers from this tragic condition.

Will or can we stop PTSD?  I would say no, since we are all vulnerable creatures and Trauma does not discriminate.  The only thing we can do, is recognize it regardless of the severity, and learn how to manage moving forward.

My request as you encourage me through your messages and comments, is to reach out to the wonderful souls who serve our County bravely and Thank them for laying down their life for you!


God Bless you and God Bless our Veterans!

Semper Fi,




Could you make the Decision to give it ALL when ALL can be Lost?  Why would you give it ALL?


These men did.  They paid the ultimate sacrifice by giving their LIVES.


Not only did this day change America, it showed commitment to by making a DECISION to Stand in the Face of Evil.

I’m grateful for those who sacrificed 70 years ago today so we and others could have Freedom.  The price was extremely high freeing millions from oppression and Tyranny.  Even more tragic was Hitler’s Final Solution toward the elimination of the European Jews.

God Bless those who served, gave and sacrificed, we will forever be grateful to your courage on DECISION DAY, to throw caution into the wind.

John 15:13 – No one has greater love than to give up one’s life for one’s friends.

Health Care Reform You Can Control

No matter what is happening with Health Care Reform and the Affordable Care Act, you have Choices!  So what are the Choices you can Control?


EXERCISE and……..



Take a step and just start.  One day at a time.  Don’t worry about the scale or your weight, just start.  

My friend who has been in the Fitness business for many years told me that out of all the workout programs and fad diets, it really all boils down to commitment to a routine.  An hour or less a day.  This is Health Care Reform You Can Control.

So, can you do 30 minutes of Cardio work per day?  Just walking or using a Cardio machine.

Can you do 30 minutes of Strength conditioning 3 days a week?  Push ups, Sit ups, Lunges, Bar dips and Pull ups.

You don’t even need a gym membership.

What about Diet?  The math is simple, Calories in, Calories out.  I have started eating more vegetables and smaller portions.  My taste buds are even now craving this healthier diet.

Can you start eating differently?  Just shopping and buying foods that you wouldn’t normally eat.

I hope that you make a Decision for Health Care Reform you Can Control with me.  I will be praying for encouragement to those who want to step up and take this challenge.

Something else to consider:

Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? – 1 Corinthians 6:19


CHANGE of Direction

It’s your Choice.  It’s your Chance.  It’s your Life.

look in the mirror


Only you can do it.  Others may help you with change and some will do everything to stop it.

So look into the mirror and be honest with yourself.

Then, take that first step, a baby step if you must.

Next, stick with it and build upon it each day.

Have a wonderful and blessed day, you are special and only you can be you!

James 1:23

Out of the Darkness and into the Light

Can you see the Light?  Or do you feel hopelessly stuck in the Dark?


We all struggle with being in Darkness and the feeling of being overwhelmed with no hope.

Today is the day that we celebrate the HOPE that lies in the Ultimate question, coming out of the Darkness of Death and into the Light of Life.

The Christian Faith is built upon this Hope.  This is what Paul the Apostle said about this Hope in his letter to the Corinthians:

And if Christ is not risen, then our preaching is empty and your faith is also empty. Yes, and we are found false witnesses of God, because we have testified of God that He raised up Christ, whom He did not raise up—if in fact the dead do not rise.  For if the dead do not rise, then Christ is not risen. And if Christ is not risen, your faith is futile; you are still in your sins! Then also those who have fallen asleep in Christ have perished.  If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men the most pitiable.  1 Corinthians 15:14-19


Today I celebrate this Hope, like many of you, and the Gratitude that JESUS walked out of that Tomb nearly 2000 years ago.  Overcoming Death and Darkness.  He walked out of the Darkness and into the Light, and anyone who believes unto HIM by Faith will do the same and live Forever.

Have a Blessed and Wonderful Easter!


The Truth shall set you Free, but do you want it?

Something we all desire, that feeling of being set Free.  But do we really want the Truth?


Can You Handle The Truth?  

Are we just more comfortable faking each other out, appeasing, so we don’t upset anyone?  Everyday I see it.  We do it everywhere, with family, friends, work, politics, church……

So is it the fault of the hearer or the teller?

I say both!  We all have an angle we are working.  To control, or manipulate, or protect, it’s just too painful as the hearer to face rejection and too fearful as the teller to face loss.

The solution starts with you.  Look in the mirror and take a stand, stop falling into these traps.  You know, if your honest, that it creates conflict within your own mind, becoming a slippery slope.

Listen and check others motives for control, while challenging yourself regarding peer pressure and being accepted.

Live Truth, Love Truth and The Truth shall set you Free!

John 14:6